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Parrots to be Outfitted with Flag Shirts

Abaco’s resurgent parrot population will be decked in full patriotic attire in time for this year’s Independence Day celebrations.

Over the course of the next several months experts will round up most of the native birds and dress them in breathable, mesh tunics emblazoned with the Bahamian flag. This will be done so locals and visitors alike can look to the sky and see the proud Bahamian colours flying in the wind. All this according to top ornithology consultant to the government, Adam Finkle.

“It’s really great,” Mr. Finkle said, “We have developed this new material that does not restrict the birds flight and is super breathable – allowing the birds to stay cool even during the hot Bahamian summers. But just like a thermos, it keeps them warm when the pine barrens drop in temperature.”

Asked why the government was considering dressing down the parrots in the Bahamian flag, Mr. Finkle noted it was a cohesive way to share the idea of “One Bahamas” with a unified cultural celebration throughout the archipelago. He noted Abaco has had the parrots as their own personal mascot for many years now and now it is time they be used to bring about greater brand awareness for the Bahamian product.

“Nature is beautiful. But sometimes it can be better, you know? Look at the parrots. Gorgeous colours! But they don’t quite fit the Bahamian motif of sun, sand and blue sea. We wanted to fix that for this year’s celebrations.”

Mr. Finkle continued with other ideas that are in the pipeline.

“There’s all kinds of things we can do to raise brand awareness for the islands. We’re thinking about dressing the swimming pigs in fun, button up Androsia shirts. Putting croker sack pants on the flamingos in Ardastra Gardens. Tiny, little straw hats on the iguanas in Exuma.”

According to sources, the plan for Independence Day this year is to release a flock of a few thousand parrots, sporting the flag shirts, over the crowd at BAIC Park at the same time as a magnificent fireworks display. “The government has examined every detail of this plan,” claimed Mr. Finkle.

Mr. Finkle has assisted Abaco in the past including negotiating the sale and relocation of the Hope Town Lighthouse, leading a ghost hunting expedition into the Wilson City power plant to discover the cause of ongoing problems, and importing coyotes to stem the invasive raccoon population.

Parrot roundups begin April 1.

About Bradley Albury

Editor-in-Chief of The Abaconian.

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