The Pilot Club of Abaco presented a Comedy Show featuring Will Stubbs and David Wallace at the Anglican Parish Hall on Nov. 24. The duo collaborated to deliver hilarious, gut-busting comedy throughout the show.
The Comedy Show was organized by Pilot Club Committee members: President Barbara Williams; Margo Dean; Keora Archer; Charlotte Swann; Lorna Rolle; Paul Pinder; and Augustine Williams to raise funds for the organization.
President Williams welcomed all as Pilots celebrated and protected brains during their designated “night of laughter.” Mr. Williams led in the opening prayer, which was promptly followed by the singing of the National Anthem.
The introduction of the Hallelujah Boys was next on the agenda, and what an introduction it was! Soon the entire audience chimed in with them to sing “Praise You the Lord. One side would sing, “Allelu, allelu, allelu, alleluia,” while the opposite side bellowed out: “Praise ye the Lord.”
In the First Act, Will Stubbs immediately began telling jokes about the difference between white people and black people’s worship styles. He said while whites rush through their services, blacks tend to draw out the service.
“Black churches give the Holy Spirit a work over,” Stubbs quipped.
Meanwhile, David Wallace talked about his humble beginnings as a child.
“We had three meals: oatmeal, corn meal and missed meal,” Wallace shared.
On to the religious check, the audience was asked to raise their hands to indicate which denomination they subscribe to. Making a wise-crack on the Baptists, Wallace observed that as long as they’ve been marching to Zion, they should have arrived there by now.
Piggy-backing off of Stubbs’ view on the difference between white people and black people, Wallace said they even pray differently. While white people quickly get to the point of what they are praying to God for, black people go through a series of illustrious names and descriptions for God, which eventually causes them to forget what they even prayed to God for.
Both men agreed that you must listen carefully to people who pray in tongues because it is a telling sign of what is lacking in the person’s life. For example, a woman without a vehicle who was speaking in tongues, professed that, “I-Shoulda-Bought-A-Honda.” As for the single man looking for a wife, he cried out something to the tune of,” Ah-Sheila-Tasha-Shanda!”
More jokes ensued with Wallace telling the story of a Bible salesman who stuttered, but made record sales by selling more than 100 Bibles in a week. The punch line was that he asked the people he went to if they wanted to purchase a Bible or if they preferred him to read it to them. Needless to say, you can figure out what option they chose.
Giving the church folks a break, Stubbs revisited a time when his family was ‘Po,’ not poor, because they were so poor they could not afford the extra letters in the word. Unfortunately, raised in a family that wore hand-me-downs, Stubbs was the only boy and the youngest sibling, so all of his sisters’ clothes were passed on to him.
Next, the question was asked among the audience members about who they preferred to discipline them – their father or mother?
“I preferred my father to beat me,” Stubbs said, “because my mother had an anointing for beating. That belt used to turn corners.”
At least he was better off than his friend Chubby who had a father who stuttered. Poor Chubby used to receive a swipe with the belt for every word his father uttered, so you can imagine how long those beatings lasted. But according to Stubbs, there was nothing more frightening than receiving the “eye” from his mother that pierced him like a two-edged sword and had him lying to the neighbour.
Another joke was about people with big vocabulary or rather a “no-cabulary” when it comes to pronouncing big words. Phrases like “I was constipating on coming” i.e. contemplating, or the bank manager telling a gentleman he did not have enough “cholesterol” instead of collateral abounded.
Too bad for the teller that would not allow him to return to her wicket after waiting three hours in line. According to the teller, when you leave the wicket the transaction is final, and the customer would have to rejoin the line to be served by her again. Stubbs informed her that he had only come to get $30, and instead she gave him $530.
All of a sudden, the teller was anxious for him to return to her wicket.
“When I have walked away from the wicket, the transaction is final,” he retorted as he walked off.
In Wallace’s Act, he did an age check to determine the year those in attendance were born. Picking on a female in the crowd, he claimed he attended school with her and revealed to the audience how much she used to cheat off his test papers.
Not only did she cheat so much that she wrote his name on her paper, but another time Wallace wrote “I don’t know” to a test question, and she wrote, “Me neither.”
Afterward, more jokes were told about the family, women transforming their appearances, marriages and infidelity.
During the intermission, Pilot Club member Deborah Williams called off door prize numbers and announced the names of the three winners. She encouraged the audience to also purchase food and drinks that had been prepared by fellow Pilots.
Finally, the moment the audience had been waiting on soon arrived. Wallace named off all the productions they had accomplished to date with Election 2002: “If You Don’t Laugh, You’ll Cry”; Election 2007: Count It Again”; and Election 2012: “What Just Happened?”
They were trying to determine if to name their Election 2017 production, “The Last Shuffle” or “Red Salami.” Wallace impersonated the Rt. Hon. Hubert Ingraham, while Stubbs appeared as Rt. Hon. Perry Christie in their finale.
Many insults were hurled to and fro between the two “prime ministers”. While “Mr. Christie” was called a great pretender and called out for using holograms at his rallies, “Mr. Ingraham” was informed that you cannot pinch a hologram and that his comment about the PLP only being able to break ground was in fact accurate.
“How you going to build if you don’t break ground?” he was asked.
“Mr. Christie” continued: “Not one of the Ps in PLP stand for perfection. We had the gall, the audacity and the gumption that when we did wrong, my God, we did wrong, right!”
The final act ended with the signature “Perry Shuffle” by Stubbs.
The last door prize to be awarded was a flat screen television before President Williams gave the Vote of Thanks at the end and extended a heartfelt thank you to everyone who supported their Comedy Show fundraiser.