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Mysterious Investor Buys Up All Abaco Crown Land for Sprawling Mega-Resort

  1. Edit: like April First of previous years, Adam Finkle has decided against pursuing this particular venture. What will he try next year?

 

A secretive, foreign investor has leased or purchased all available Crown Land south of Marsh Harbour. The deal was finalized earlier in March with plans for a sprawling hotel and resort complex. The deal is being brokered by a businessman familiar with Abaco, one Mr. Adam Finkle.

Mr. Finkle, acting as a third party broker, has been in contact with his mysterious investor regarding the purchase and use of Abaco’s Crown Land.

“We communicate mostly through tweets. But I have the general gist of what he wants to do here. It’s going to be huge.

“You know, there were quite a few people applied ahead of us for some of this land. Some poor saps have been in the system for up to a decade. But, you know, money talks. We managed to get a swath of Crown Land from outside Sandy Point all the way to butting up against Spring City.

“Do you know how many golf courses can fit along that stretch? How many tourists will line up to play the thirty mile long ‘Abaco Circuit?’”

He declined to share the name of his investor, claiming the separation was to protect him from certain business “conflicts of interest” that may exist for the next four, or eight, years.

However, the hands-off approach by the investor has not stopped Mr. Finkle from sharing “Phase One” which involves clear-cutting much of the pine barons in the acquisition to make way for the exclusive mega-resort and its sprawling grounds.

“We’re acting fairly. We have a fat cheque for the lumber companies for this loss of revenue. We would have simply let them harvest the trees but we plan to mulch them all for the resort gardens.”

Regarding areas that fall under the protected National Parks, Mr. Finkle shrugged. “We’ll do our best to preserve native species and landscapes. But we’ve seen how devastating environmental regulations have been on economic growth.”

Regarding construction of the mega-resort Mr. Finkle noted as much local labour would be utilized as possible. Saying the job growth would be “Tremendous.”

He noted, however, a Russian firm was already lined up to manage the construction.

“We understand there might be some tension between the Chinese interests currently building the Coopers Town Port and our Russian friends. But we suspect they’ll stick to North Abaco and we’ll develop the south. There will be a wall,” Mr. Finkle paused before finishing, “metaphorically speaking, of course.”

To outsiders, Mr. Finkle seems an odd choice as a liaison for such an important deal. He is notorious among locals for his previous, failed ventures including: restarting the whaling industry, brokering the sale and transport of the Hope Town Lighthouse and importing coyotes as pest control.

According to sources, the cheque to the Public Treasury for the purchase will clear on April 1.

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About Bradley Albury

Bradley Albury

Editor-in-Chief of The Abaconian.

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